What Can break down Your Relationship
It is a very sad thing to see two people who once truly loved each other fall out of love.
And how do some people stay in love for years?
Even in the most difficult atmospheres to keep a healthy relationship going well such as the movie industry, you see a couple such as Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt share a big family and manage to love each other even more during every tough time they experience together.
There are definitely some attitudes that kill any beautiful relationship and making sure you avoid them will guarantee a loving life with your partner.
How do we fall in love
Many people believe that love and passion only exist in the beginning phase, but in reality it only gets more passionate if you behave towards each other in a healthy way.
The reason for this is actually very simple, and to truly understand it and make sense out of it, we must look closer at what happens when we fall in love. The limbic system is an area in the brain that regulates emotions and memory.
In my book How to make someone fall in love with you i said that when you see a person that yoursubconscious mind believes will make you happy (according to a set of unconscious criteria that you have built throughout the years) it sends you emotions in the form of love to make sure that you stick to this person that will make you happy.
Sometimes partners act toward each other in behaviors that they believe will not be very harmful. This idea is even more confirmed when neither of them sees an instant change in their levels of love when they engage in them.
What really happens with the continuous bad attitudes is that they provide a trend of bad behaviorthat starts convincing their subconscious mind that this person is not bringing so much happiness. From here two things could happen, either they will fall out of love or they will stick together feeling unhappy because they believe there is no other way.
Either for their kids, for fear of facing the society or for fear of not finding the right person. It is not too late to fix a relationship if both partners decide that they both want to. Whether you’re in a relationship or getting into one, making sure you avoid the next mistakes will turn your relationship to what you dream of it to be.
The Six Mistakes
Mistake #1, Lack of respect: It is not placed as number one by accident.
No relationship in the world will blossom without respect. This mistake alone can fix most of your problems together if you both decide to put it as a high priority. No matter what happenscommunication must be in fact so respectful that you both have to make sure that nothing that is being said could hurt the other person in any way.
Mistake #2, Proving yourself right: Don’t focus on proving who is wrong and who is right. Both of you should be more committed to focusing on the fact that it’s about finding solutions to what’s going wrong for both of you. In fact, the more you encourage each other with kind words and praise each other, the more solution-oriented you will both want to be.
Mistake #3, Lack of Trust: Many people think that trust is something that once built lasts forever. It is the same mistake as assuming that once we’re deeply in love it will stay forever. In order to keep it ‘forever’, you actually must continue to work on it forever. Don’t risk lying and break the trust that will be responsible for experiencing safety in a relationship.
Mistake #4, Being lovers but not friends Being each other’s friend is the most rewarding behavior in any relationship in the world. Invest time to talk deeply to one another and to share what is going on in your daily lives. Being each other’s friend is the true measure to how long your love will last as you grow together. (see also Can friends become lovers)
Mistake #5, Not fulfilling each other’s needs : Each person in the world has needs towards a relationship that must be fulfilled or otherwise will bring disappointment. This will lead to feelings fading away, you know by now how emotions work. No matter how silly you see this need as, you must fulfill it to your partner who sees it as important.
Mistake #6, Not having common activities: Do you feel that the relationship is getting boringand lost its passion? This is the root reason for it. You MUST find some time to do regular fun activities together.