How to become a successful – Self confidence
When rail roads were first invented engineers started to notice that the rail lines break at different points with no apparent reason. When they investigated further they found that sunlight resulted in the expansion of the metal forming the rail causing a pressure that breaks the line at its weakest points.
As a walk around, rail roads were redesigned to include slots that allows the expansion and contraction of the metal without breaking it.
So you might be asking yourself what does this has to do with reaching success?
The moral of the story is simple, reaching success is only a matter of failing first then modifying your approach to become successful!!
Success comes after failure
Of course there might be few people out there who succeeded from the first attempts but the majority of successful people failed many times before they managed to reach success.
rcentage of billionaires faced financial troubles at many points in their lives and some of them even lost all of their money and had to start all over again.
Learning is all about making mistakes first then knowing how to avoid these mistakes in the future. You have to do things wrong before you can learn how to do them the right way and thus in order to reach success you must first know how to not become successful.
Do you remember the first time you tried to ride a bicycle or use a skateboard?
How many times did you fall? How many things have you done wrong?
I am sure you fell tens of times yet you kept learning until you knew how to avoid your mistakes.
Why do people fail to succeed?
So if success is all about learning and avoiding mistakes then why don’t all people succeed?
Simply because most people feel bad and become depressed when they experience their first few failures!!
Instead of continuing the learning process to learn how to avoid their mistakes those people stop at one point, form false beliefs about life and become depressed!!
In the Solid Self confidence program i explained that the only difference between those who succeed and those who don’t is that the first group continue to the end until they learn how to avoid all of the mistakes they were doing while the second group feel bad and stop trying.
To summarize it all, here are the exact steps you need in order to reach success:
- Do something!!: People who procrastinate or those who wait for the right time never make their first attempt and so never succeed. People who fear to try or fear success itself never reach anything too.
- Look at failure differently: Failure is nothing more than discovering that you are not following the right approach. Without failure you would never know about the mistakes you did and success can never be reached
- Avoid the mistakes and try again: Right after your failure give it another try after fixing the mistakes you did in the previous attempt
I am not saying that success will come after the second or the third attempt but what I am promising you is that you will surly reach success if you kept trying and trying.
How to develop good habits
As a part of my plan to live a healthier life style i decided to start drinking green tea instead of the normal tea i drink everyday.
The problem with developing such a good habit was that i had an intense love for tea and i have always felt that green tea is tasteless.
I decided to drink that tasteless green tea anyways even though i don’t like it.
Each day i used to drink one cup of green tea right after eating but one day there were no green tea in the house and i started to feel that something is wrong!!
it was clear that i didn’t only develop a good habit but i also became used to it to the extent that i felt that something is missing when i couldn’t do it.
Getting used to good habits
The human body can adapt itself to any habit and once it gets used to it breaking it would be hard. Even though i didn’t like green tea at the beginning i started missing it later on because i got used to it!!
The same goes for the gym, at the beginning exercising was an unbearable activity but after some time i started to feel really bad the day i dont exercise.
In my book The ultimate guide to breaking bad habits i said If you want to develop a good habit then you must understand that by sticking to it for a certain period of time it will become a part of your lifestyle and it would be hard to break it.
Why do people fail to develop good habits?
People fail to develop good habits because:
- They give up before they get used to them: Most people who fail to develop good habits have one thing in common which is giving up before they get used to the habit.
- Thinking that they will suffer forever: In the beginning green tea had no taste but after a while i started to find that it tastes good, its all about sustaining the habit until you start liking it
Giving in to temptation: The hardest part in developing any good habit is the first few weeks, if you managed sail safely through this period then there is a big chance that you will keep your good habit. Eating a big chocolate instead of the apple you intended to eat in the first few days will certainly ruin your efforts to develop a good habit.
Bad habits alter your brain and make life less joyful
In my previous article How internet porn affects your brain i said that the more a person stimulates the release of dopamine in his brain by watching porn the more his brain will become resistant to dopamine.
Dopamine is the chemical responsible for experiencing excitement and pleasure so if your brain became resistant to it then you will find all life pleasures less satisfying!
The breaking news i have for you is that dopamine resistance doesn’t develop as a result of watching pron only but it results from any additive behavior!
A study has found that women who eat more fatty foods develop more dopamine resistance than women who eat other foods. In other words, women who eat fatty foods enjoy life activities less than those who eat healthy food.
How bad habits affect your brain
When you go after a certain reward, lets say smoking a cigarette, your brain releases dopamine. Because the next time you smoke another cigarette you wont feel as excited as you felt the first time you smoked you will need a more powerful stimulus in order to experience the same level of pleasure.
As a result you will have to consume a larger dose and so program your mind to develop dopamine Resistance. Now when you do any life activity that you used to enjoy you will find it less joyful because your mind has already developed dopamine resistance as a result of your smoking habit.
This effect happens when you get addicted to anything! Food, smoking, porn, drugs or whatever.
The next time you attempt to do your bad habit remind yourself that you are actually changing the structure of your brain and making life less joyful.
Breaking bad habits
In my book The ultimate guide to breaking bad habits i said that most people do the mistake of using will power to break bad habits without actually trying to understand the dynamics of their bad habits.
Before you can break a bad habit you first need to understand the psychological causes behind it. Lets suppose that a child steals because he wants attention, in such a case treating his excessive need for attention is the only way to help him stop stealing.
If that child was forced not to steal then he might develop another dangerous habit just to get back the lost attention. In other words, without understanding the real intention behind a bad habit it might not be possible to break it.
What Is Success?
Success is about getting all that you wanted to have. It’s finding that you have achieved your goals or fulfilled your plans and it’s waking up in the morning feeling victorious rather than feeling defeated.
The feelings success brings will make you walk proudly in the streets with your head up high while being happy and satisfied.
How to Be Successful in Life
Contrary to common beliefs, there are no successful or unsuccessful people but instead there are people who have the potential to succeed and who do things that helps them realize this potential and there are people with the same potential who don’t do those things.
The only thing you need to do to succeed is to do exactly what successful people did. When you go through all of the information below you will acquire the mentality of a successful person and this will help you reach success.
What Makes Me Unsuccessful?
If you really want to be successful then you should have a solid understanding of certain concepts that can limit your potential and that can make you unsuccessful.
Successful people avoid these harmful concepts and so should you:
- False Beliefs: False beliefs are incorrect ideas you hold about something or about yourself. An example of a false belief could be “I can never find a job in such a country” . False beliefs act as limiters to your true potential and so to your success. Getting rid of false beliefs and knowing more about them is the most important task that you should do if you are serious about success. False beliefs can not only limit your success potential but they can even ruin your life. Some people stay broken for years after a breakup just because they have some false beliefs about love that they acquired from the media. In my book How to get over anyone in few days i explained how getting rid of false beliefs such as “the one” and “the soul mate” can help you recover in few days. This happens because the mind refuses to recover if it believed that it will never find a replacement for the person you broke up with.
- External Locus of Control: This is the way of thinking that makes a person assume that everything that happens to him is the result of external factors. For example: saying that an exam was too hard when you don’t do well or claiming that high unemployment rate is the reason you can’t find a job are examples of external locus of control. The flip side to that way of thinking is Internal Locus of Control which is the way of thinking that makes you believe that you are in charge and in control of everything that happens to you. None of the successful people have an external locus of control so if you are serious about success you should learn how to change your way of thinking from being based on external locus of control to being based on internal locus of control.
- Lack of Persistence: What is good about having many qualities and skills if you lost hope in succeeding after failing once or twice? The only people who succeed in life are the persistent ones. Those who continue working right to the end until they get what they want even if everything was against them and even if they failed many times. If you want to be successful then read the guide to persistence to learn how to stand up again even if you failed hundreds of times.
- Lack of Flexibility: Flexibility is the ability to adapt to external conditions. It’s the ability to try something else or another method when your current method fails. The more flexible you are, the more you will adapt to changes and the higher your chances of success will be.
- Lack of Planning: If you don’t have goals or plans then you are going to be a part of other people’s plans. If you don’t plan to be the team leader at your work then someone else in your team will do so and if you don’t plan to get that high paying job then someone else who planned and worked for it will take it from you. If you don’t plan you will get swept away by the people who do. They will fill the positions, make the money and get the fame while you’ll just be a spectator. planning is an essential item in the success toolkit.
- Lack of Self-confidence: If you don’t have a high self-confidence then most probably you will be too shy of presenting your ideas and you may give up your dreams as soon as someone tells you that they are not possible. You may fear taking any risks and so ignore many opportunities that could have made you successful. If you want to increase your chances of being a successful person, then you must build your self-confidence. You can build it from scratch using the ultimate guide for building self-confidence.
- Thinking that you lack resources: In my book How i did it i explained how i managed to make a website that generates thousands of dollars/month in less than 2 years with an initial investment that is less than 50 dollars!! Don’t fool yourself by thinking that you lack resources because if you are serious about success you will do it without having any resources. This website is one of the examples of successful businesses that required no resources at the start up.
- Success related Fears: The types of fears that can affect your ability to succeed are the fear of failure and the fear of success. While they both seem to be complete opposites still they can have the same effect on you which is preventing you from trying and so leading you to failure. If you want to deal with fear of success.
The Road to Success
If you have already been through the previous guides and have prepared your toolkit then it’s time to know how the road to success looks like so that you don’t find unexpected surprises.
The road to success will probably be full of rejection, pain, hard work, disappointment as well as many other discouraging things but when you reach its end you will feel really happy and victorious.
You will feel proud of yourself for overcoming all of these obstacles and for reaching your goals in spite of the many things that stood in your way. You will be tremendously happy and satisfied and you will experience the feelings described at the beginning of this article. In short, you will receive the reward of being successful.
Why am i not successful
Why am I not successful?
Does this question sound familiar? Even if you don’t ask yourself this question directly
You might experience moments where you compare your achievements to other people and become dissatisfied.
In my previous article how to become successful in life I pointed out that one of the most important factors that can help a person become successful is learning how to tolerate failure and move on.
In this article I will tell you about another very important key concept that can help you answer the question why am I not successful.
Persistence and success
I always workout in the gym and I have been doing that since more than 8 years. What I noticed during this period is that most amateurs who want to gain muscles experience periods of no muscle growth followed by periods of rapid growth.
The reason some people spend time in the gym without gaining any muscles is that they keep doing the exercises in a wrong way until a professional spots them by chance and directs them to the correct methods.
Those people come to the gym everyday, work hard and do the exercises in a wrong way then go home. Most of them quit after losing hope but very few continue to the end.
Those who continue start encountering people who give them the right directions until they master doing these exercises and eventually they become successful!!
Why were those people successful?
If i were to summarize the reasons that made those people become successful we would say:
- They were persistent: They kept going to the gym everyday and never stopped even though they had no idea what to do
- They were patient: Even though those people didn’t find the success they were after they kept doing their best.
- They were tolerant to failure: After spending few months with no progress to be mentioned they didn’t lose hope in success and they kept trying
Becoming successful in life will be your fate if you followed the footsteps of those successful people.
Keep trying to reach your goals even if you found no results, one day you will encounter someone who will direct you to the right direction and you will become successful.
Now imagine that one of those people who used to go to the gym stopped going, how will he meet the ones who will direct him and how will he succeed?
A person might become successful from the first attempt but the majority won’t do it before they encounter many failures and that’s why persistence is one of the most important factors that can lead to success.
How to reach a goal
How to reach a goal?
I am sure you found tons of articles giving the same advice about goal setting such as set realistic goals, make your goals measurable and set dead lines.
While these advice are useful still they are too far from being sufficient and they will never help you reach a goal on their own.
There are lots of other factors that are much deeper and that might be responsible for your failed attempts to reach your goals.
In this article i wont tell how you to set smart goals because you already know that but i will tell you how to really reach a goal.
The reason you didn’t reach your goals
When trying to reach a goal we all do the same mistake of trying what has worked in the past and avoiding what we failed at earlier. As a result of this strategy we lose creativity, we become attached to a single method for doing things and that’s why we find ourselves helpless when this method fails.
We play it safe and try the methods we already know because we fear to get out of our comfort zones or to take a big risk.
When we fail to reach our goals we quickly form a false belief about our skills, about that matter we failed at or about life itself.
We become strongly connected to the past, whenever we face a new problem we start to reach for our memories to find out whether we have a solution from our past experience or not and when we don’t find the solution we just panic.
Want to reach your goals? Then ask yourself this one question
Why not try an approach that you never tried before
Why not forget about the past failures and think about future possibilities?
Why not take a big risk?
Why not Escape from the mental prison of the past and think of other possibilities?
Why not think without constrains from the past?
Why not get rid of your false beliefs?
In the Solid Self confidence program i said that the reason people fail to reach their goals is not that they don’t try hard but its because they form false beliefs that imprisons them and that prevents them from reaching their true potential.
Long ago when i used to work for a telecommunications company i was eager to earn more money but the mistake i did at that time was constraining my thinking by the variables that were currently available.
All what i was concerned about was improving my CV and getting a good raise or even getting promoted and that was the reason i was stuck with no real progress for 3 years.
The day i asked myself the question “Why not” was the day the big change happened
I said, why not have a business that brings me multiples of my salary?
Why not do something that i have never done before?
Why not develop a website that brings me money?
And shortly i became a dot com millionaire.
It all began with 2 words, why not?
How to become successful in business
Successful people are found everywhere around the world. They come from different countries, have different backgrounds and cultures.
Even though there are lots of differences between them all still there are some common traits among them that made them become successful. If you want to become successful in life, in relationships or in business then you must understand how these people think in order to act like them.
If a human being managed to do something then any other human being can do it provided that he follows the same path that the first one followed and even if he followed a different path, sticking to the way of thinking of the successful person who did it will enable him to do it too.
How to become successful
Suppose that you were talented, gifted and very intelligent but failed to do something for several times, isn’t there a possibility that you might lose hope? Yes the possibility of loss of hope is always there for normal people but for success oriented people it’s never there.
If you want to become successful in business then you must learn how not to lose hope when you fail.
Why do they keep trying?
Why do people keep trying even though they fail lots of times along the way? Successful business menbelieve in their dreams and that’s why they only see failure as feedback instead of seeing it as bad news.
They know that one day they will make their dreams come true and all what they are searching for is the method with which they can fulfill these dreams.
That’s why they don’t lose hope after a failure simply because they consider the method they tried to be one of the wrong methods for reaching something that is possible. If you want to become successful in business then you must believe in what you are doing because unless you believe in it, no one will.
How do they stand up again?
Sometimes a person who is already successful faces a major problem that costs him his success. Successful businesses sometimes go bankrupt, successful people may go out of business because of unexpected reasons and they may return to the point they started from because of a major change that suddenly happened.
All of these people recover again and return back to the point they reached earlier in a short period of time. How do business men rebuild their wealth few years after losing it and how do these people stand up again after catastrophic events? Its because they are resilient, they stand up whenever they fall, they believe that they are in control of their fate and that they are not helpless.
If you want to become successful in business then you should learn how to become resilient in order to bear life shocks without collapsing.
How do they know the next step?
Successful people have a plan, even if they don’t know what the next step should be they know their destination very well and when they lose track of the road they just think of the shortest possible way to reach their destination.
If you want to become successful in business, you must have a plan, a vision and you must know where exactly you want to go.
Final words about becoming successful in business
Successful people do a lot more than the points I just mentioned, they face their fears, challenge those who don’t believe in them, they take risks, they work hard, they manage their time, they make sacrifices and they fight the whole world until they reach what they want.
Becoming successful in business is simple, just train yourself to have the same way of thinking of those people and you will become one of them.